


Choose a god you think is fair

by Mooimagoldfish



Category: UnDeadwood (Web Series)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this on my lunch break, more to come - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mooimagoldfish/pseuds/Mooimagoldfish
Summary: Bunch of random ass drabblesTitle has nothing to do with the stories just a line of a song that's been stuck in my head
Comments: 13
Kudos: 14





	1. middle names

**Author's Note:**

> Bunch of random ass drabbles
> 
> Title has nothing to do with the stories just a line of a song that's been stuck in my head

Clayton Sharpe didn't have a middle name. He had never given himself one when he started calling himself by that name. That fact did not stop Miriam from supplying one when she scolded him for something.  
" Clayton Andrew Sharpe you best remove your boots before coming into the house young man!"  
" That ain't my middle name Mir" he replied back with a smile as Clayton did as he was told.  
And so it went on. Sure there were some favorites that were reused often but she was always coming up with new middle names for him.

It was the usual quiet afternoon at the Gem sitting, drinking and playing cards. Clayton had a great poker face, but miriams was better so he decided to turn the cards in his favor. Not to be vicious just to see if he could get away with it.  
Just as an ace was going up his sleeve.  
" Clayton Josiah Sharpe you better not have done what I think you did!" There was no heat in her voice so it was a surprise to the group when Clayton suddenly stiffened and looked down as he put the card back. There was a sadness in his eyes as he looked at Miriam. " Josiah was my- I mean was Amos' middle name"


	2. Kittens

Dispite the offer to stay at the Bullock, Matthew insisted on staying at the ruined church. The roof was almost finished and most of the windows have been replaced so it wasnt *that* cold. Though Clayton would argue that it was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. Matthew had no idea when or why Clayton was around ships but that wasn't the point. The church was fine. The roof would be done before winter. It really wasn't a big deal.

Early one morning Matthew woke up to the sound of constant meowing. With bleary eyes he went down the stairs to investigate. The cloth that usually covered the alter was on the floor. When Matthew went to put it back in it's place, he saw a orange banded tabby cat with 4, no wait 5 kittens curled up on the cloth. 

Matthew grabbed a box and an old shirt or two and made a better nesting spot for the mama cat, who he was calling Mary, and her kittens. 

Later that day, the rest of the deadwood 5 found Matthew sitting next to the box and petting Mary while talking to her and her kittens. Miriam and Arabella both awwed when they saw the kittens.   
" what are their names?!" Bella said rushing towards the kittens

"Well I've only named Mary here so far."  
"Mary?" Clayton asked disapproval clear in his voice. " your going to give them all biblical names aint ya" Matthew looked a little sheepish and mumbled a confirmation to Clayton's assumption.

" well what would you name them mr sharpe" miriam challenged in a teasing tone. "Well the mom is tabby, cus she's a tabby cat. The little one with the white on its feet is Boots. The black one is lucifer. The mostly orange one is Pumpkin. The striped one is Mittens and the little skinny one is named Pig."

They all just stared at Clayton. Finally Aly broke the silence. " i think thats the most ive ever heard you say without threatening someone" Arabella was going on about how pig wasn't a good name for a cat. Miriam was smiling about seeing how soft the rough gunslinger really is. Matthew was looking at the little black kitten. " We are not calling the cat Lucifer! Besides its a girl."

"Fine. Jezebel it is then"


	3. Sunday's best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew and Clayton disagree on what is appropriate to wear

" Your not wearing that, are you?" Matthew said looking Clayton up and down as he adjusted his own clothes. "Whats wrong with what I'm wearing? This is my Sunday's best." Clayton askdd  
Clayton was wearing clean dark colored trousers, a blue shirt with a black vest that has a dark stain and a small frayed hole near his stomach.   
"That looks like a bullet hole."  
" Ain't my fault Aly shot me while I was wearing my favorite vest"  
Matthew shook his head and looked at his partner with fond disbelief.  
Matthew had had a feeling this would happen and with Arabella's help had picked out actual nice clothes for Clayton to wear on this occasion. 

" Here put these on. Bella and I picked them out."  
"No. What I'm wearing is fine. There aint any dust on my boots and I didn't even put spurs on today incase you haven't noticed"  
" No its not and I ain't willing to face Miriam's wrath if you show up looking rough. It'll be your funeral if you don't." Matthew said with mild frustration at the stubborn man before him.  
" I've already had a funeral if you recall. I heard it was quite lovely" Clay said cheerfully as he walked into the kitchen.

Matthew stuck his lower lip out in a pout. " Please Clay. For me?" Clay looked at the puppy dog eyes and pout Matthew was giving him.  
" That look will not work this time Matthew. We are going to be late." Clay said walking towards the door  
" Pleaaase Clay. For us?" Arabella had appeared out nowhere and was now standing besides the preacher. She too was giving him a puppy dog pout. She was wearing a beautiful white dress and her red hair was pinned up.   
Clay threw his hands up. " fuckin fine! But if we are late it will be your hide she tans, not mine"


	4. Knives

Matthew stood over the bandit they were questioning. The man seemed determined to have a blank facial expression and not respond to any of their questions. The only thing this man did to show fear was him staring at the supposedly kind preacher repeatedly flip a knife up and catch it. 

Clayton watched this display too. How easily Matthew tossed the knife and caught the handle over and over and over again with almost a bored expression. He wasn't even looking at the blade! He was just staring down the man they were trying to get information from.  
The ease at which he did this told Clayton that this was not the first time he'd done this. And damn if it wasn't attractive as hell. Especially when Matthew's voice dropped down low.

" Now son, why don't you kindly tell us what we want to know" Matthew said in an almost hushed low tone, the same one that made Clayton's stomach clench. " Fuck you Padre i ain't telling you nothing" spat the bandit. Matthew's facial expression didn't change. He knelt down, still flipping the knife over in his hand "Wrong answer" Matthew said as he flung his arm out sideways releasing the knife so that it flew from his hand going in between where Miriam and Clayton stood. The knife landed square in the chest of another bandit the group hadn't seen that was trying to sneak away. 

Heat licked down Claytons spine at the shear competence of it all. What else was Matthew capable of? What else was that preacher hiding? Clayton licked his lips before going and investigating the body of the second bandit. He had to push all other thoughts from his mind, lest he get distracted again. He was thankful that the others could not see how wide his eyes were under his hat. That his pupils were probably blown wide. There would be time later to dwell on these things. After all he and Mason were stuck sharing a room while they were staying in Grand Rapids and he was no longer upset about it.


	5. Fuzzy problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay really is the softest gunslinger in the Dakota territory

Clayton looked down at his hat. He was going to be late. He knew this yet he didn't want to leave not wearing his hat. It should be just a simple thing. Pick up the hat. Put it on his head. There was one little problem though. 

One little adorable fuzzy problem. Pumpkin the kitten was asleep in his hat. You can't just move a sleeping animal. Not even one who has fallen asleep on or in something of yours. As far as Clayton Sharpe was concerned, it was down right illegal.

Pumpkin looked so cute curled up sleeping. The tip of his tail twitching every now and then. Itty bitty snores coming from the orange fuzzball. He couldn't disturb that kinda peace. Lord knows peace is hard to find in Deadwood. 

"Clay are you ready?" Matthew said coming into their shared bedroom. He saw Clayton looking down at his hat a small smile on his face. "Darlin'?"Matthew asked as he came up behind and wrapped his arms around Clayton. "What are you looking - Oh my word! That is so cute! Move him so we can get going."

"Matthew Mason I am ashamed of you! You can't move a sleeping kitten."

"So you're leaving your hat behind then?"

"I don't go anywhere without my hat. Hell I'd wear it in bed if you let me." Clayton said smiling at his partners grumpy "I know" He turned in Matthews arms. "So do you see my issue Matty? I will not go without the hat, but I just can't move Pumpkin."

" Fine I'll move him." Matthew said removing his arms from Clayton who squeaked indignantly when Pumpkin was removed from the hat and the hat was handed to Clayton. " Matty what you just did was illegal" Clayton said petulantly. Matthew smiled as he kissed his pouting husband " Clay you were one of the most wanted men in the country for over 15 years. Since when do you care if something is illegal? "


	6. Chapter 6

"After all these years and all the hurt, you would think I wouldn't keep being surprised at how nasty the world is"  
There is a storm raging behind those blue-grey eyes that are looking out over the town. Clayton's body is tense as he sits with his back against the chimney. The hand holding a cigarette is resting on his bent knees. Matthew had no idea how long Clayton had been up on the roof. He also had no clue on how the gunslinger had gotten up here. Matthew had had to take the ladder out of the church and put it up against the side of the house in order to access the roof.

" i wouldn't say you were surprised. I think you were shocked that something happened so close to home and both revolted by and tired of the evils that are always lurking just around the corner"

"Evils?" Clayton said cocking an eyebrow. "You talking bout Swearingen or 'the devil '"

"Neither really" Matthew said suppressing a smile. "Some people are just down right horrible and do bad things. More often than not, there is noone else to blame other than the person who did wrong. Placing blame on Satan removes guilt from the guilty party."

Matthew looks over at Clayton. There is a still a hardness and a bit of pain to the man's beautiful eyes but his shoulders have relaxed a bit.

Clayton stood and stretched. "You happen to bring any booze up with you Rev'nd? My stash is out."

"No. Don't think it's safe to be drunk on the roof."

" 'm not drunk" Clayton groused. He paused, looking around. "Okay I may be a little drunk, 'cause I could have sworn you came up here on a ladder."

"I did.." Matthew said slowly while starting to look along the roof"

" Fuck." Clayton cursed loudly before dropping his voice, muttering "god damned prank war..... bet bella put him up to it....one day I'm gunna.." He walked up to a half hidden pack and pulled out some rope. Clayton offered one end of the rope. "Anchor me?"

Matthew grabbed the other end of the rope. "Always"

Clayton winked before repelling down the side of the house. From the other side of the church matthew could hear Miriam yelling "what the blazes do you two think you are doing with that ladder?"


	7. More kittens more problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the personalities and quirks of the kittens that Matthew found in the church

Jezebel was the sweetest of all the kittens. Never really caused any issue. Matthew would claim otherwise however. This was simply because she was quiet and with her dark coat she was damn hard to see sometimes. Which led to her scaring Matthew many times before Arabella adopted her. She was a great companion. If anyone had something to say about a magic user with a black cat as a familiar, they wisely kept it to themselves.

Pumpkin sleeps alot. Usually in the most inconvenient places. Claytons hat several times. Matthew’s jacket. On whoever has been sitting down for more than a minute. It has caused Matthew and Clayton to be late for things several times. Largely in part to Clayton's insistence that moving a sleeping animal is against the law. Aly constantly reminds him that he is the softest outlaw there is. Arabella often tries to research if cats can have narcolepsy.

You cannot leave your cups unattended around Mittens! He has and will try again to drink out of whatever you are drinking. Think regular zoomies are bad? Thats nothing compared to zoomies + Miriam's coffee. 4 cups, 3 plates, 2 lanterns and one apple pie all ended up as casualties that night. Still not as bad as the time Mittens drank some of Aly’s whiskey. Almost as many things got broken, plus tears in the drapes from where he has gotten stuck. Zero coronation. Tripping everywhere. Running into everything from the table to the wall to Matthew's shins. Cats, unsurprisingly, cannot hold their liquor.

Boots is probably the most playful of the litter. Anything and everything is something she can play with. There has been multiple times when Clayton has been underneath the covers and has had his feet attacked. Will bat at anyone's hair if it's long enough. Has attempted to bat at Aloysius' mustache. Will chew on the feather in Matthew's hat at any opportunity. Has also destroyed 2 rosaries to date from using them as playthings.

Pig is the adventurous one. He loves riding on people's shoulders. It was not uncommon to see him on Clayton's shoulder while he walks to the Gem or Bella Union. He has also been known to hide in saddle bags, undiscovered until the group was half a days ride out of Deadwood. When he was smaller he once fell asleep in the pocket of Clayton's duster pocket. He woke up and made his escape once in Al's office. The ballsy little kitten jumped onto the desk to stare down Swearingen. When Al returned the stare, Pig hissed at him much to the horror of the DW5. After hearing this story, Dan asked if he could keep Pig. Pig spends his days sleeping on the bar of the Gem saloon and scaring the crap out of Jonny at any chance he gets.


	8. Injuries and Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miriam gets injured and Pig the cat goes on an adventure

Their job is dangerous, it's often that one of them or more gets hurt. But there is something about seeing Miriam injured that makes the rest of the group go absolutely fucking feral, leading the rest of the group to eliminate the perpetrators with extreme prejudice. The dust settles after the fight and Clayton immediately runs over to a wounded Miriam grasping her leg.

"There is a first aid kit in my saddlebags" Matthew yells as he goes to settle the horses while Aly starts moving the bodies. Arabella runs over to Matthews horse and begins digging through his saddlebags only to stop and screech "oh my god" Matthew and Aly immediately run over to see what caused Arabella's distress. Pig was sleeping soundly in the saddlebag right on top of the med kit. 

Matthew gingerly lifted Pig out of the bag so that Arabella could go help Miriam. Aly stifled a chuckle. "How the blazes did he sleep through all that?" he asked. Matthew shrugged and looked at the saddle bags again, torn on whether or not he should put Pig back in the bags. Out on the trail was not the place for a kitten. 

" I'll take 'im" Aly offered his voice soft " we will settle the horses then you can go help Arabella with Miriam. You know how she is. Shes a worse patient than Clayton."

"I heard that" Clayton barks over to them. He then returns to talking to Miriam gently as she bemoans the tear and blood stains on her skirts. Miriam got lucky that the bullet only grazed the outside of her thigh. It wouldn't require any surgery to remove the bullet, just a few stitches. Miriam was still insisting that she just needed a bandage and a pair of riding breeches and she'd be fine until they got back to town.

Arabella was prepping her supplies while Clayton was cutting away the torn fabric so that they could better reach the wound.

"who has whiskey?" arabella called out 

"here" aly said as he handed a bottle to Arabella. 

"what cha got there mr fogg?" Miriam asked trying her best to sound like her usual composed self 

" It seems we had a stowaway" Aly says with a small smile that doesnt quite reach his eyes. " Seems to me like Pig here wanted in on some of the action and hopped into the Rev'nd's saddlebag before we left. how this little guy slept through all the action, i have no idea." 

Pig flicked his tail and started to move around. He stretched in Aly's arms and then climbed up onto his shoulder. 

"Pig you naughty kitty! I bet the girls are so worried about you." Miriam said shaking a finger at the cat. Aly knelt down so that he could give Miriam his flask. 

" They probably just think he's over at the Gem, hanging out with Dan, and scaring the crap out of Jonny at every availible moment"

"True" miriam agreed between pulls of whiskey. " Alright. if your going to stich me up, do it now otherwise lets get the hell out of here." she tried to stand and immidatly her leg buckled underneath her.

"Oh no you dont miss miriam "Clayton said as he eased her back to the ground. "They are going to patch you up proper so it doesnt get infected.

"Then at least let me pet the damned cat so i have something to focus on" she groused. 

Clayton backed away so that Aly could move closer. Aly eased Pig off of his shoulder and held the cat in his arms so that Miriam could stroke his soft brown fur. 

" Hold still darlin' Im going to start." Arabella said as she finished threading the needle 

"Pig dont look okay, sugar. Just look at me or Mir." Aly crooned to the cat. 

\----- 

"No"

"Miriam please be reasonable"

"No! You are the one who needs to be reasonable Clayton" Miriam growled

"I am. not my fault you are as stubborn as they come"

"Miriam please" said arabella softly 

"I still don't see why I can't wear my breeches." Miriam grumbled. 

" They are going to be too tight to get off the bandages love. It will be easier to have you wear these" Arabella said holding out a pair of Aly's trousers. 

It takes a little effort to get Miriam standing. Matthew supports her while Arabella slides the pants up Miriam's legs. Once they've rolled the pants up a few times they secure it with a belt. Arabella cuts away the last of the torn skirt from Miriam. She looked so much younger in the dirty shirt and oversized trousers. Reminding all of them how small she was dispite her big personality. 

" You are going to double with one of the men so that you don't fall on the ride back" 

"Fine" Miriam huffed out. "I'm riding with Aly so I can hold Pig" 

\-----  
Immediately after arriving back in Deadwood they all trudged up to Al's office. Miriam managed the stairs on her own after threatening everyone who offered to carry her. 

Miriam sat down in one of the chairs and Pig immediately went up onto her shoulders. Al took in the sight before him. Torn, dusty and bloody clothes, Miriam swamped in someone else's clothing, and a pissed off looking brown cat.  
" See yall added another fucking member to the team. I won't be fucking paying it for the job"  
Pig puffed up and hissed at Swearengin.   
"You know I liked you better when you were terrifying Jonny." Al said, glaring at Pig. "Alright the rest of you take your gold and get the fuck out" he barked. After they filed out of his office, just before the door shut, they heard "Next time find better fuckin cat sitters than Joanie's girls."


End file.
